Testing at Bedtime
Here's What To Do
1
Know that I may begin 'testing' you at bedtime by crying, throwing toys, jumping in my crib, or other ways to get your attention so you'll get me out of bed. This is a normal way for me to test boundaries as I'm trying to gain independence, but it can be very frustrating for you!
2
One way to help the bedtime separation is to keep our nighttime routine consistent.
3
You may want to try ignoring my attention-getting at bedtime. If you want to try this "ignoring" method, here are some tips:
- Leave my room promptly and cheerfully and reassure me you'll see me in the morning.
- If you need to check on me, use a baby monitor or call out to me. Don't come back into my room.
- Know that my crying might get worse before it gets better. I am experimenting with different ways to try to get you back in my room.
4
Remember that every child is different, and there is no one method that will work for every family. You may need to experiment to see what works best for us.
Put PEER Into Action
P
Pause:
- Take a deep breath if I'm testing you at bedtime. My testing can feel so frustrating, and it's helpful if you're able to stay calm.
E
Engage:
- Establish a consistent bedtime routine. Some parts of our bedtime routine could include:
- -kissing or waving goodnight to family members and toys
- -rocking with you in a chair
- -reading a story
- -singing a short lullaby
- -turning on a night light or sound machine
- At the end of the routine, give me a firm signal that you are leaving. Like: "Good night, sleep tight! I'll see you in the morning. Love you!"
E
Encourage:
- Reassure me by calling to me from outside the room. Like: "You're okay Theo. Mama's here, but you don't need me. Cuddle your teddy, lay down, and close your eyes. Night night."
- Try to be consistent with your "ignoring" me. If I see that screaming or other behaviors bring you back, I'll keep doing it.
R
Reflect:
- What routines seem to help ease our bedtime separation?
As your child grows...
They may try "testing" you at bedtime, but eventually will learn how to go to sleep more easily.