Here's What To Do
1
Talk about times when you want to use a strong, respectful voice:
- When someone treats you in a mean or unsafe way
- When someone treats your body in a way you don't like
- When you need or want something
2
Share some examples, and tell your child how they might respond.
3
Ask your child to repeat your response, and practice saying it in a strong and respectful voice. Some example phrases:
- "Please stop that!"
- "I don't like it when…"
- "No thank you, I don't like that."
4
As it comes up in real life, encourage your child to speak up for themselves in a safe, respectful way.
Put PEER Into Action
P
Pause:
- Facing your child, slowly move their arms up to the sky and back down. Let them do the same to you.
E
Engage:
- "Pretend that a friend is tickling you and you don't want to be tickled. You could say 'I don't like that, please stop.' Can you practice saying it in a strong, respectful voice? Say, 'I don't like that, please stop.'"
- "It's okay to tell people you don't like something, even me. Can you try looking in my eyes and saying, "No thank you, Mommy. I don't want a hug right now."
E
Encourage:
- "Hmmm… you're saying the right thing, but you're saying it in a yelling way. Can you try saying it more respectfully, so that your friend might want to listen more?"
- In a moment of conflict, remind your child: "How can you share what you need or want?"
R
Reflect:
- "Do you think you know how to speak up for yourself?"
Not quite ready?
Practice simple phrases your child can use in these situations, like "no."
Ready for more?
Play "Please give it back." Set 3 toys on the table, and tell your child to watch as you take away 1 and hide it. Ask them to say "You took away my ___, please give it back" in a strong, respectful voice.
As your child masters this skill...
They will become more comfortable expressing wants and needs in an effective way.