Learning the Meaning of “No!”
Here's What To Do
1
Avoid saying "no" too often, or "no" will lose its meaning.
- Try to save your "no's" for times when my actions can hurt me, others, or property
- Childproof our home so you don't always have to say "no" when I explore
2
Follow these four steps every time you say "no":
- Say "no" immediately after my "no" behavior with a firm voice and facial expression.
- Physically help me to stop my "no" behavior. For example, take my hand away from a hot stove or pick me up if I pull the dog's tail.
- Explain why it's a "no." Give me a short explanation I can understand.
- Redirect me by showing something I can do instead. This helps me learn what I am allowed to do.
Put PEER Into Action
P
Pause:
- Try to take a deep breath when reacting to my "no" behaviors. I'm not old enough to understand what behaviors are right and wrong yet.
E
Engage:
- "No! No hitting, hitting hurts people's bodies."
- "No! It's not safe to cross the street alone. Would you like to hold mama's hand or your sister's hand?"
E
Encourage:
- I will try "no" behaviors many more times to test my limits. Keep saying "no" consistently, and I will eventually learn that "no" means "never."
- Let me know that you understand my "no's." If I turn away or resist, translate my actions into words. Like, "No? You don't want any more?"
R
Reflect:
- Do you think you're consistently using the four steps of "no?"
As your child grows...
They will eventually learn the meaning of "no" and stop doing their "no" behavior when you say "no." After more time, they will be able to remember "no's" and stop themselves from doing a "no" behavior.