Learning Simple Rules
Here's What To Do
1
Keep it simple by only having necessary rules. For example, I should not be allowed to:
- Hurt others or myself
- Go near the street, hot stoves, or other dangerous places or things.
- Purposefully break things.
2
Try to make rules that are easy for you to enforce, or I'll learn that rules don't need to be followed.
3
I learn rules by breaking them and being shown what I'm allowed to do instead. When I break a rule, here are three steps that help me learn:
- Tell me in simple words what I did wrong
- Physically help me stop the behavior by moving me away
- Show and tell me what I am allowed to do instead
4
Remember that I am still learning how to follow rules. I don't have the self-control or memory to follow rules at this age, and I need your help following them.
Put PEER Into Action
P
Pause:
- When helping me learn new rules, try taking a slow, deep breath. When you're calm, I'm better able to pay attention to the rules.
E
Engage:
- "No! You can't play near the stove, it's hot! You can play with the cups in your kitchen drawer instead."
- When I'm not in the middle of a "no" behavior, tell me rules in a simple and positive way. Like "Keep your plate on the table, please."
E
Encourage:
- I really like when you compliment me on rule-following. Describe behavior you like, such as "Great gentle touches on Kitty's back!"
- While I may not like rules in the moment, remember that predictable limits keep me from feeling out-of-control.
R
Reflect:
- How do you think we're doing with learning rules? It's a team effort!
As your child grows...
At this age, they won't be able to follow rules on their own, and rules won't stop them from doing a "no" behavior. Over time, consistent rules will help them learn not to act on all of their impulses.