I Want to Do It Myself!
Here's What To Do
Remember that while my "do it myself" attitude can be frustrating, it's a sign of positive social and emotional growth. You're giving me the safe environment I need to 'test' my power and independence. With your firm and consistent loving limits, you're helping me grow.
Encourage independence as much as possible. When I do something by myself I am learning that I am competent and can be successful.
Give me choices when possible, but only offer a choice when there is a real choice for me to make. For example, ask "What book would you like to read before bed?," but don't say "We're going to go to bed now, okay?"
If I try to resist your help when I really do need it, just help me. Do what needs to be done without discussion and move onto something else.
Put PEER Into Action
Pause:
- Take a deep belly breath in and out.
Engage:
- "Can you clean up the blocks all by yourself? Put all the blocks here in this bin."
- "Would you like to wear the dinosaur mittens or doggy mittens?"
Encourage:
- Childproof and set up our space so I can navigate appropriate tasks independently. This helps me explore safely and decrease your having to say "no."
- Encourage me to do things independently. Offer me food I can eat myself, let me help put on my shirt, and let me rinse my hands after you've washed them.
Reflect:
- Are there any small ways you can help me do things more independently?
As your child grows...
They will continue to want more control over their environment and the opportunity to do more things independently.