Following Rules
Here's What To Do
1
Think about the most important rules for me to learn. Two important categories to start with:
- I am not allowed to hurt myself, others, or people's belongings.
- I am not allowed to go near the street, hot stove, or other dangerous things.
2
When I'm learning a new rule, show me what I am allowed to do at the same time you show me what I can't do.
3
I will need frequent reminders of our rules. Consistency is key, so only give me rules you can consistently enforce.
4
Like most children, I will probably try to test the limits of rules. Calmly but firmly tell me the rule again. If I continue to test, remove me from the situation.
Put PEER Into Action
P
Pause:
- Close your eyes and remember that I'm not trying to be difficult. Testing the limits of rules is part of my job at this age.
E
Engage:
- "You can't walk across the street by yourself. You can choose whose hand you'd like to hold: Mommy's or Daddy's."
- "No throwing play dough. Play dough is only for rolling and squeezing, not throwing."
E
Encourage:
- Help me be successful at rule-following by introducing child-appropriate rules. For example, I can sit still at mealtime for 10 minutes, not an hour.
- Help me practice rules through pretend play. Provide dolls, stuffed animals, or action figures and help me act out scenes where rules are important.
R
Reflect:
- Are there any rules that I seem to already understand and follow? Maybe these can help you figure out the best way to teach me new rules.
As your child grows...
They will begin to regularly comply with simple rules. As they learn more complicated rules, they will continue to test the boundaries.