“No, I Don’t Like That”
Here's What To Do
Help your child learn about creating safe boundaries for themselves, and how to respond to unwanted touches, such as tickles or hugs, from their friends or adults.
Explain that it’s OK if they don’t want someone to touch them.
Talk together about simple things they can do, such as saying “No, I don’t like that” or shaking their head and their hands.
Acknowledge their feelings and note your appreciation when you hear your child expressing themselves clearly with others.
Put PEER Into Action
Pause:
- Take a few deep belly breaths together to help your child notice how their body feels when they’re calm so they can begin to recognize when their body feels differently.
Engage:
- “You can decide if people like friends or grown ups can touch you, like to hug you or tickle you. Those feelings can change too and that’s OK.”
- “If you don’t want them to, you can say something like “No, I don’t like that” or “Please stop.”
Encourage:
- With your family, model how each family member can respond to unwanted touch from others.
- Highlight that the other person can respect their choice without getting upset when they hear “No, I don’t like that.”
Reflect:
- “What could you say or do if you don’t want someone to touch you?”
Not quite ready?
Model and suggest very simple responses using gestures your child already uses, such as walking away, holding up a hand or crossing their arms in front of them.
Ready for more?
You and your child can also brainstorm other ways to interact with people after saying “No, I don’t like that.” For example, after refusing a hug, your child can wave instead. Or, they can suggest another game instead of pretend wrestling with their friend.
As your child masters this skill...
They will be able to respond appropriately to express dislike of unwanted touch from others. They will decide who they allow to touch them.